Cottage Week 2005

Monday, April 10, 2006

The results of a conversation between Michael and Darren Hutz.

Greetings chums ho hum hurrum,

I sat down with ma dear ol pa, and we chatted briskly on the subject of a skirmish to the cottagio as per our yearly tradition. He pointed out, "Nobody else's parents would ever let such an orgie of wanton destruction happen. NOBODY...THIS IS AN INSULT, ABSOLUTELY NOT."

"buh pa, it'll be diff dis time," I retorted, in all lower case.

Then a swordfight ensued that ravaged the upper west corridor of Upper Canada Mall, by the food court.

I don't remember much about it, but my dear Patyr has conceeded somewhat. We can have a cottage week this year.

Note: It will be different this year

Here are the conditions under which Cottage will occur this year, as dictated by the Boss:

Rental Fee: somewhere in the neighborhood of $500 total. Should be negligible when dispersed evenly among all of us.

Security Deposit
: some $$$ from everybody that will be returned at the end of the week. I'm still figuring out how this will be implemented, It'll probably be variable depending on your past record.

Contract: outlining the conditions under which the security deposit will be retained and when exile from the cottage is neccessary. Yeah, its a bit over the top, but we all need to agree not to fuck my cottage up this year.

That's the word from my Dad. His main concern was that I seem to be utterly unable to control the more rambunctious of you guys(I'm sure you know who you are). Seems heavy handed, but sometimes some of you guys are heavy headed (especially when the fan is concerned).

I don't think this stuff is too big a deal. Any thoughts?

Sunday, March 26, 2006

Whisperings of 2006...

I hear something in the wind...

I mentioned to my dad that I would be talking to him about another cottage week sometime in the near future, his response was "the usual pitch, eh?" then he chuckled. That's a good thing. The usual pitch has always worked.

Of course this year's pitch won't be usual. After last year, I'll need certain assurances from certain people that certain things won't happen. Plus the terms of the "week" will be restricted, but I think we can make it work.

Last year was an absolute bonanza. The neighbors hate us, the deaf think we're all terrible people and the fan was completely destroyed(my dad actually replaced it). Needless to say we'll have to tone it down a touch.

I'm thinking no jet-ski. I'm thinking I'll try for 5-days, monday to friday to minimize neighboral abraision. I'm thinking that everyone could pitch in a security deposit that would be returned at the end of the week barring any significant damage. I'm thinking maybe we should show my dad our appreciation in some form. What do you guys think?

There a little matter of $160 balance that remains unpaid at the marina. I'm not exactly sure, but I recall filling up the big boat for that much. Maybe we didn't settle up with them. Either way, my dad would like that money back, so whatever $160 divided by the number of people at cottage last year is, everyone should pay my dad. It shouldn't be much.

My father may be swayed from his resolute disapproval because I've been through a lot lately. Through his sympathy alone he may grant me this one. But let's not make him regret that decision. Let us let this year be the year that guaratees many many future cottage weeks.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

It's almost here

After months of waiting it's finally here so I've put together a list of things you should remember:

1) The hippo is our property, that goes for any water tramploines on the lake
2) Gator hats are an essential
b) Popcan boxes can be used as hats
3) PTM is not a toy
4) All labels that read 'Do Not Tow behind motorised vehical' will be ignored.
5) To keep a poncho in good condition you should spill random fluids on it.
6) The ceiling fan is not a toy, it's a target.
7) Urinating in other's drinks is okey as long as it's a joke
8) Drinking before noon is not frowned upon, this includes drinking while kneeboarding or tubing.
9) Large sauages shall be refered to as 'Shlongs' and shall not be eaten rather used to mimic the male genitalia
10) To fit in, it's good to salute everyone you see on the lake like a German would.


Monday, August 15, 2005

Rides, seriously

This is how it'll work best. Drivers post a comment outlining when they are going to the cottage, when they are coming home how many seats they have and how many are already reserved in the following format:

[Driver name/Car's name]
Up: [friday 19]
1.[passenger name]
2.[passenger name]

Back: [friday 26]

Then passengers say which seats on which rides they want. This will operate on a first post, first serve basis. for example

Darren - Blue Bayou, up and back

NOTE: shotgun cannot be called on this blog

Tuesday, August 09, 2005


Are we planning meals? any thoughts?

Couples therapy

I get the master bedroom(thanks guys).
Other couples, negotiate! This issue is officially out of my hands.


Getting there, eh?

Monica has car, but knows not when.

I call bitch in blue bayou.

Keep in mind, that in a pinch, you can always ask mom and dad for a ride up(or down)


Saturday, July 23, 2005


Did you book it off work yet?

(August 19th-26th)

Monday, July 11, 2005

"guests"; not "guess" plus a "t"

I'm sure everybody already understands the guest invitation procedure by now, but in an effort to be excruciatingly clear and to avoid as many hurt feelings as possible, I will go over them

The following people are officially invited(in order of spacial resonance):
J-P Forget
Chris Abela
Sean Lypaczewski
Andrew Seminsky
Anya Cyprys
Monica Skinner
Dave Bertenshaw
Darren Hutz
Jason Wilson
Josh Livingstone
Kalie Cuffe
Seth Beatty
Jenni Grahariam
Rory Mayne
Julian Verity
Ashleigh Higgs
Steve McCourt
Brian Greflund
Lindsay Freeman
Rob Schultz
Blair Main
Russel Cole
Margie Mansell
(Yeah, so its been over a year since I've heard from Freeman or Schultz, I don't care, they're still invited)

Anyone beyond that list is a "guest," and must be discussed privately with me. The underlying rationale is this: I invite the world according to me, not our entire "group," although the distinction is subtle. Guests are accepted on the basis of them providing more fun to the officialy invitee from whom their prescence was requested, without costing anyone else fun.

Bla bla bla, there's my schpiel, just so there is no possible confusion.